Teachable Moments from Sewing on Body Positivity
Growing Pains
Growing up, my mom would spend countless hours sewing matching dresses and outfits for my sisters and I. At the time, I thought it was embarrassing. We were known within our community that we were the sisters who always had matching outfits. (Ugh, humiliating). If we showed up to an event and weren’t matching, people would ask us why we were wearing different clothes (eye roll). My mom then taught me to sew when I was old enough to reach the sewing machine foot pedal. Over the years, I had an on again, off again relationship with sewing and quilting. It wasn’t until recently that I began to fall in love with sewing. I loved it not only because I had found a way to express my creativity in all aspects of the creative process, but because I could finally have clothes that fit my body.
I am guessing that if you are a woman reading this, you know the frustrations of finding the right fit, the style that fits your personality, that makes you feel confident, and that makes you, well you. Womens’ bodies change. It’s normal. My body changed and I had to go through many years of breaking down the harmful stigmas around my body that I had learned from the media and society.
While grappling with my changing body, I began to absolutely dread having to go clothes shopping. This used to be something that I loved. Now it felt like torture.
Everything fit funny, nothing seemed to fit right. Things felt too tight, too loose, too frumpy, too blah. Time and time again I would walk away from a shopping trip and feel utterly defeated. It felt like my body didn’t fit into the standards of the model in the picture at the storefront. I grew to dislike the parts of my body that didn’t fit in, both literally and figuratively.
Teachable Moments from Garment Sewing on Body Positivity
This propelled me to begin sewing my own clothes. If I couldn’t find clothes that fit me the way I want, I would make them myself. This journey has been delightful, frustrating, and I have learned so much about myself and body positivity in the process.
Vulnerability- Having to measure my curves and all in order to take my measurements is quite the vulnerable experience. Even when the tape measure shows a larger size than I once was. I can feel the coldness of the tape measure surrounding the outlines of my body. Sometimes I don’t like the number I see, but I have to recognize that this is my body. It is good and I have come to accept the curves as being me.
Clothes that fit my body, not my body fitting into clothes- Every time I need to modify the pattern to fit my body by extending outside the standard size line, I almost get excited. It feels like an act of rebellion. I am breaking body standards and creating clothes that fit me! I’m not having to force my body to fit into uncomfortable or unflattering clothes. I can have clothes that don’t squeeze and remind me constantly that I am not fitting into the standard. I have clothes that are comfortable, flattering and reflect me and my personality. It’s a win-win!
Self-Expression- when it comes down to pattern, print, fabric. I have control over how I want to express myself. I can decide if I want to modify things. If I need to lengthen or shorten parts of the pattern. If I don’t like something within the pattern, I can change it.
Self-Healing- there seems to be a cathartic ritual around sewing something; the stitching of things together. The many broken pieces of my shattered self-esteem has slowly been stitched together through repairing my broken down ideas of body positivity. I began to love my body again.
Reconciling Mistakes- if you’ve ever sewn something, you know that a seam ripper must always be handy. Sewing something can be very frustrating when you make a mistake. However, you pause. Take a breather and then when ready, go back and fix the mistake. Sometimes I’ve realized that I made a mistake in the process but it’s too far along to fix it, so I work with what I have. I make it work.
If you would like to try your hand at garment sewing here are some Size Inclusive Pattern Companies that I love:
https://fridaypatterncompany.com
https://helensclosetpatterns.com
https://www.closetcorepatterns.com
Begin Your Journey
If you would like to begin the hard and rewarding work of breaking down body standards, find a therapist who works from a HAES (Health at Every Size) approach. HAES is an approach that acknowledges that every body is different. Rather than measuring health by what the scale says, it is more important to adopt healthy habits for a better well-being. Weight is not a signifier of health and it is important to appreciate size diversity and to treat every body with respect. HAES works to build trust between you and your body.
If you are looking for a therapist in the Greater Seattle area, consider working with me. I have expertise and experience working with millennial women just like you. You can request a free phone consultation to see how we might be able to work together.
Meet the Author
Adrienne Kandhari (she/her) is a licensed mental health counselor in the state of Washington. She specializes working with millennial women and helping them to grow, succeed, and thrive in the modern world. When she’s not with clients, you can find her exploring the PNW, sewing a new fashion project, and attending to her trove of houseplants.
